Spring 2022
Camping a la Verticál
Wall climbing is an acquired taste. Like coffee or beer, at first you may not think it’s for you. While most people succumb to the dopamine release of coffee or beer, most people do not indulge in wall climbing. These people are crazy. Taking this philosophy one step further, sticking to the trade routes is absurd. Racing for bivy spots and all that crowd riff raff. The obscure routes may leave a pit of uncertainty in your stomach in the climbing department, but the guarantee of solitude with you and a good buddy or two is well worth it.
Virginia
Adam, Seth, and I debated and debated what route we were going to climb. Adam really wanted to climb The Shield to feel that proper big stone exposure, though I reasoned him out of that one. With three people who were not particularly dialed, it was going to take too long. Too much weight, too slow, etc. We thought about Zodiac, but the hell was the point of climbing a route if we had to bite our tongue each time we nailed? We wanted to get on something a bit more obscure .. we wanted to pound some pins, crack a cobra … ya dig? Tangerine Trip via the 7-pitch Virginia variation seemed to make perfect sense. 7 pitches of mellow hammering goodness, followed by 8 pitches of moderate clean climbing. Yoohoo! We were stoked to get on the steep side of el cap.
Adam fixed the first pitch, with no rivet hangers, like a boss and we began schlepping loads to the base, climaxing with Seth toting the 157L haulbag packed to the brim .. strong like bull. Later that week I would be sucked up to my shoulder digging around that haul bag for a gallon of water. I’ve heard rumors that the half dome bag from metolius is made with the thought that you need to be able to grab a beer from the bottom of the bag. I like that idea.
We blasted off with the first pitch fixed and managed to get to the roof at the top of pitch 4 that night, where we wrestled our portaledges at a hanging belay for 90 minutes as Adams quote, “I’ve never needed to read instructions on how to setup a tent” was hysterically repeated. Initiation did not last too long and soon we were laying down enjoying the water drips from the roof above and some good wine.
The A3 cruxes were short lived and less of a challenge than expected. We did not have the third take the swing, which resulted in 2-pitch days up the whole route. Well, that was one reason. Lack of urgency and inexperience were the others. I’m not sure we ever got the ledge setup without having to use headlamps, though we did manage to enjoy ourselves.
This route taught us so much. I had never placed a hook on lead before this route. Seth had never climbed a big wall. None of us had slept on a portaledge before. Cleaning on the steep SE face of el cap was a learning process in itself. It became pretty fun to transfer your weight off pieces for a split second and take the swing as you pulled it out. This route was steep! Particularly the bottom half. Learned a good deal about the SE face choss. I led a seemingly easy 5.8 rotten pitch and it felt just as demanding as any of the other pitches due to the kitty litter nature of the rock. I had never climbed any rivet ladders before, so that was fun … sorta. All in all, it was a fuckin classic time up there.
After the route we pushed the ‘ol el cap lieback (grade V) and hopped around different classic single pitches by day, scurrying away into the boulders at night. It was nice. Adam and Seth got out of there, heading back to the MT riverfest or something like that. All alone, I began scheming a rope solo mission.
Zodiac
Dead Bird ledge ‘seasonally wet’. Meh, I’ll probably be fine. 3 pitches up I setup for my first night on the wall. As I eat dinner I wonder if these spurts of water are going to continue through the night. What's the saying, el cap dishes up a warm piece of humble pie? I presume that's what this is … fine by me.
An hour or so of laying down with my eyes closed, I debate rapping to the ground. My feet were triple socked up and still soaked through. I am quite literally sleeping in a puddle. Each time the water gets taken away by the wind, I think this is the one and it wont come back. I was wrong for a while, but finally I was right. As the sun had been set for some time, the temperature gradient seemed to have settled down. The wind calmed and finally, the water from above showed some mercy.
I wake up to the sun and laugh hysterically. I charge upwards, knowing the worst night of the route was behind me.
* * * * *
“What the fuck? Must be caught on something … why the hell does this have to happen in the midst of some free climbing? Jeez.”
I pull the rope and nothing budges. Luckily, since I am linking these pitches, I am right by an anchor and can setup a quick 1:1 on the dead end of the lead line to hopefully pull the rope through whatever it got caught on. I hear no jingling and nothing pops loose as I tug. God dammit, guess I gotta fix my haul line and zip down there real quick to fix the problem.
At the anchor I see the issue, I left with both ends of the lead line tied into the anchor, Haha! Welp, that's an easy fix.
* * * * *
“This is wild, so wild .. haha!” Staring down into the void I cannot help but express madness. I pull myself back into the anchors, having just lead the nipple pitch. I light up a smoke and laugh at how big of a deal the nipple pitch is made out to be. By that point on the route camhooking liberally has become routine. With my phone low on battery I cannot afford the luxury of tunes as I climb, but I boot it up just for a song or two as I enjoy the smoke.
“Hmp, Hmmp” the bags are reverse hauled. I let them sail into space and begin cleaning the pitch. There was a new-ish .3/.4 Z4 welded as well as 2 crusty pitons I clipped for pro as I leapfrogged cam hooks. Cleaning the pitch consisted of three nice and airy lower outs and I setup shop at the top of the pitch in what was a splattering of bolts.
* * * * *
“The best top out on the stone is the one you’re doin” I mutter to myself as I mantle over the lip and hump my body onto solid ground.
Right at the lip the rope runs out and I clove it to the cam I just placed and come off the system. I know my tag line should have a bit more length left and I take a few more steps away from the edge. Guess I missed the best topout on el cap, which I couldn’t have cared less about. I was on the top, yeeeeew! I make a 3 piece anchor in the bomber flake at my feet and sit down. I loved that I was kept on my toes right up until the final moments, with the summit in spitting distance. Botching the last pitch and rapping off the top from a gear anchor felt pretty silly, but a good kind of silly. I was satiated. Later that month I did the actual topout and saw I was really only a few feet from the bolts when I decided to veer left.
* * * * *
The technical nature of Zodiac was straightforward. Each time at a thoughtful segment I would often just think to myself what the most obvious placement is, what would most people think to do right here? Given that the route has had so much traffic, that typically worked well. I have heard of people taking big whips trying to use small cams, likely because the cracks are so smooth from the traffic its hard to get cams to stick. Liberal camhooking is the move. 2 sets of offsets would have helped a lot for the black tower. I also think with more confidence I could have just hand placed beaks into the bottom of the angle pin scars, rather than tipped offset cams, and that would have worked, similar to the beak on the P-rock A2 seam where the 0.3/0.4 cam goes off the deck. Those white circle pitches go swiftly with playful camhooking, steep as the leaning tower up there and the most beautiful, clean white granite. Zodiac felt similar to the Trip, but more clean aid trickery and sustained cruxes. The Virginia portion was harder than Zodiac.
The Shortest Straw
Well, I am beginning to feel like I know what I’m doing on the big wall that is El Capitan. I thought I may be done after Zodiac, but after running into some characters on the valley floor I was fired up for another route. I began to scheme about one more solo. The SE face seems most plausible, easy hauling and shorter routes make logistics reasonable. I began making schleppin’ loads to the base, bumping tunes and visualizing … so stoked.
On one of my final water runs I see two seasoned gentlemen starting up the route. I say hi, telling them I will start up behind them in a couple days. They point to Zodiac and tell me that's the route I am looking for and they're on The Shortest Straw. I repeat myself and tell them I am going to be up on the Straw in a couple days. They both look at me and start sussing me out, asking me what walls I have done. Both of them nod along as I tell them. Unexpectedly, Paul Gagner, the guy leading the pitch, mentions he is actually planning to solo the route as well and is just getting a belay from a good friend for the first pitch. He says he would be down to climb it with me and after I tell him I have 9 gallons of water at the base he figures he better climb it with me, haha.
Initially I said I would think about it. It sorta felt like a cop out getting to split the leads in half. Though, pretty quickly I caught on to who Paul was in terms of a climber and a person and figured I would learn way more climbing the route with him than I would by myself, and would have a good time hanging with him. We seemed like a personality match. I told him I’d be psyched to climb the route with him and I’ll see him at the bridge later that evening. Paul and I were both stoked that we ran into each other and we sensed this was the start to a great adventure.
Paul fixed that first pitch when I met him. We hauled up some more loads later that day, took a rest day and blasted off the next day. I had a long night hanging at huff with friends and was in a bite of a daze the morning we blasted off. I jugged the line as Paul hauled the pitch, then I got that 2nd pitch. It was cruiser, a rivet and fixed head ladder with a short hooking crux and a few beaks in between it all.
Paul had mentioned the day before that the only pitches he demanded he lead ever were the hook or book pitch on The Sea of Dreams, and, I’m pretty sure, the pitch off Wino. After saying this, he was pretty stern on the idea that he “liked the Journey through the Brain pitch” … I tried to get the lead, but got shut down pretty quickly. After getting to the pitch I was glad to see it looked straightforward and not the challenging crux I made it out to be in my head, although the name of the pitch still sounds pretty sweet. Paul lead that pitch and tells me that it was classic A1+. Gotta love that.
We ended up doing 2 pitches a day and enjoying a cobra and a bowl each afternoon. It was a great time. Paul had endless tales from his 45 years of climbing and I was all ears. I learned a lot from him and could tell he liked having all his tips and tricks being absorbed by a young over-stoker. By the end of the route I caught on how to climb ‘hard’ aid … not that this route was hard, but Paul is a classic old school aid climber. It was awesome to learn how to climb slow and scary terrain proper.
On the route I did take a whipper on some easy A2 loose, love tapping a beak thinking I was being all cool and finesse, before Paul gave me the advice of “whatever it takes to make sure that shit is bomber” .. I finished the pitch and took the next day off because my ankle was swollen, then returned to action the next day. I was pretty frustrated that I lapsed in judgment for that split second, but when you play with fire sometimes you get burned … or something like that.
Lurking Fear
“I mean … theres no food in it. I know that.”
The ringtails were savages. We were in their domain, and the four of them knew it. They dug through our bags, got right up in our faces, pillaging for grub. How can such beasts be so cute! We were tempted to just get up and start climbing, but we got some more shut eye even through the ravaging.
Initially I was loaning the homies gear to climb something, then pretty soon we were all loading up to go climb Lurking Fear. They were in the valley for a few days, so we acted quickly. We happily got up at 3 AM or so to begin the climb and I was enjoying myself thoroughly that morning. Just stoked to be cruisin up mellow terrain. What a great flow state aid climbing is .. we ended up at the base of pitch 9 that first day, where we slept partly on bolts partly on gear. Sorta Jive. What shit belays for portaledges on this route! Just two bolts for anchors at every pitch. We all agreed we had put in enough work that day that we are not bailing. We went to bed all on the same page and the stoke was high! Nick took off leading that next morning and then I got the afternoon block, we bivied at the top of pitch 13 and then thanksgiving ledge and all enjoyed ourselves by the end of it. Yaaaa! It’s maxxed.
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